Quite angry, mostly at myself, because I can’t seem to learn the above lesson.
Apparently, according to Cheryl, the reason for this discrepancy between the way I am/act (because I am very much myself and proud of it) and the way people see me is all in my birthchart. So for whatever reason the universe seems to think it’s a good idea to throw up interference between the reality of me and what everyone sees and hears.
Which is really annoying (and I know, even among my friend there are people who face struggles so great in just being themselves I couldn’t even imagine it, but these are mine and these are what I understand to be struggles) because no matter what I do, because I am driven by so force that has always been with me, I am always going to be myself, and causes enough problems. So lets start from the beginning, ok, if people are born with the sexuality that they have then I’m already born with a fight on my hands (thank you society), add to that a higher than average IQ (not bragging), as many of you know that a problem for a lot of people. So I was born with built-in social problems, was it really necessary then to add in the distortion?
I sick and tired of constantly trying to help others only for every other thing I do and say to be picked-up wrong and to have people angry at me for something I didn’t do (and here’s the real kicker) and would never do, and anyone who knows should know that I would never do.
What I need is an Emotishirt. A T-shirt that instead of a logo would have my current mood on it. So people wouldn’t think that I was being serious when I was only joking, or that I was depressed/moody when really I was quite happy working away on my laptop with my Skittles or think I’m dissing their degree when I’m trying to comfort them. And this is what I’m talking about anyone who knows anything about me should know I would never do that! All I ever do is try to help people, I just want my friends and people I like to be happy or at least comforted. Good god it’s not like I ask for much in return.
Quite frankly I’m furious right now.
First of welcome everyone to my blog. [If you're reading this on RyanGannon.com then understand the site is under construction, if you're reading this on LJ then feel free to leave flippant comments as I have on yours and if you're reading this on blogger then I probably don't know you.] So anyway this is going to be yesterday and today summed up.
My first proper hacking of Vista
Right so yesterday, yesterday I had my last exam, E-Business. I had already passed the course so doing the exam was a formality really. The fun started when afterwards I got a bluetooth headset in Argos (€20) and tried to add it to my bluetooth devices on Nike (my portable/college laptop). Now both of my laptops have Windows Vista Ultimate (RTM) and as you may or may not know, because I didn’t, between the RC2 release and the RTM Microsoft striped their bluetooth stack down to just File Transfer. So I was peeved as this was the reason for buying the headset. So why not just use XP I hear you ask (and by you I mean Aoife and maybe Cheryl) well I wanted the headset for Vista’s Speech Recognition software (yes, I’m that lazy). So after much hunting on Google I came across this. So that’s the way I spent yesterday evening.
Big Brother
BIG BROTHER!!! Yes it’s back. I don’t have to think about what I’m going to do every night. But what the hell is up with only adding one guy? 11 girls, locked in a house, the majority between 18 and 22, it’ll end in homicide. All the same I’m glad it’s back and it looks to be a good year all the same and Nicky seems nice, I hope she is and doesn’t turn out to be a bitch. The twins are so cute! They’re all blonde and pink and rather thick. Bless.
The best thing is we had a Big Brother party. So… much… Dominos. The brownies are so good though.
Plans for the Summer
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Currently listening to: Basement Jaxx - The Singles