Ryan’s Blog

He’s just after calling me (Mark, that is). I though that somehow he had read my blog, no, he’s been in Corfu for 4 and a half months.

Anyway, he got back this moring, so maybe with him back in the country, energies will rebalance or something and I’ll go back to normal.

I’m the level-headed one, I’m the one that gives the sound advice, I am not the one to go rushing into anything and getting too emotionally involved to quickly. So why is it that all I can think about is Jay, why is it that I can’t wait to have a free gaff and why is it that my head feels all floaty when I tihnk of him and just want to spend money on him, I’ll tell yo why… it’s Mark.

After years of friendship is inablity to think straight when he’s interested in some one has rubbed-off on me.

I still think I can get the smaell of him off me (Jay, not Mark). God-damn-it, that’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. We’ve been on two dates, why in the hell is he all I can think about and it’s not like all sex fantasies, that I could deal with, no, it’s things like wanting to just laze in the sun together, I want him to be there when I get my next tattoo, he just told me he snores, I want him to wake me up with his snoring (how mad is that?).

Somebody has to help me, I learn long ago to keep people at arms length till I could trust them, why am I not doing it now?

What happened to Ryan, the guy who want’s everything done right, I should be panicing about Freshers’, not making goo-goo eyes with some lovely, young, sanger, metal-head, who’s an awesome kisser and has this great little butt (even if he doesn’t think so) and there I go again, totally off point.

GAH! Someone help me here!

Jason txt me on Thursday asking if I wanted to a late lunch. And we did, there was a short stay in the park (during which I was begging any deity that would listen that he would get over his public-display-of-affection problem and kiss me right there right then [hell, take again' the f**king tree]). Then a short walk around town, during which it was implied by him in a very round about way that we could go back to mine and we ended up there and that’s all you’re getting, I’ll just sum it up with the word… wow!

Also, I am the King of Cheese, cheesy sex jokes and chat-up lines.