So anyway, Jay and myself went to Eddie’s and Cineworld last night. He learned how into a movie I get and I learned that he hates anything banana flavoured, or orange or apple (except orange and apple juice).
I made him laugh at one stage.
It’s killing me though that he doesn’t like public displays of affection. We were walking around the outside of the park and all I wanted to do was put my arm around him but i didn’t because I knew he wouldn’t want me to. I just hate the whole “look but don’t touch” thing.
I suppose that’s part of why I don’t want to go official, that and I’m worried that the reason he’s moving so fast is to make it easier for himself when he decides to come out. I’m not saying I think that’s the only reason he’s with me, just it might be why he’s so enthused. The big problem is I’m falling in love with him, I’m trying not to, well at least to slow it down but it’s like god took a check-list from me and landed him here.
I’m the level-headed one, I’m the one that gives the sound advice, I am not the one to go rushing into anything and getting too emotionally involved to quickly. So why is it that all I can think about is Jay, why is it that I can’t wait to have a free gaff and why is it that my head feels all floaty when I tihnk of him and just want to spend money on him, I’ll tell yo why… it’s Mark.
After years of friendship is inablity to think straight when he’s interested in some one has rubbed-off on me.
I still think I can get the smaell of him off me (Jay, not Mark). God-damn-it, that’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. We’ve been on two dates, why in the hell is he all I can think about and it’s not like all sex fantasies, that I could deal with, no, it’s things like wanting to just laze in the sun together, I want him to be there when I get my next tattoo, he just told me he snores, I want him to wake me up with his snoring (how mad is that?).
Somebody has to help me, I learn long ago to keep people at arms length till I could trust them, why am I not doing it now?
What happened to Ryan, the guy who want’s everything done right, I should be panicing about Freshers’, not making goo-goo eyes with some lovely, young, sanger, metal-head, who’s an awesome kisser and has this great little butt (even if he doesn’t think so) and there I go again, totally off point.
Jason txt me on Thursday asking if I wanted to a late lunch. And we did, there was a short stay in the park (during which I was begging any deity that would listen that he would get over his public-display-of-affection problem and kiss me right there right then [hell, take again' the f**king tree]). Then a short walk around town, during which it was implied by him in a very round about way that we could go back to mine and we ended up there and that’s all you’re getting, I’ll just sum it up with the word… wow!
Also, I am the King of Cheese, cheesy sex jokes and chat-up lines.
So, my first date, and it being me it went on for 8 hours (anyone who knows the Waterford story will get that). Anywho I met Jason (Jay) online and spent many nights chatting on msn till three in the morning and said we should meet-up. So we meet outside Stephen’s Green and we we’re just going to have lunch, so we went to the park and chatted and then started wandering around town and eventually it was 22.30.
He’s a metal-head, but he’s got such a sanger accent (I love it). He’s got the cutest smile. It’s great we love and more importaintly hate all the same things (Emos, Metalica, all sorts of stuff). And he’s Wiccan. And he has blue eyes. The only problem is we’re both shy. We both waffle when we’re nervious so we didn’t really say anything for ages, but he relaxed and I don’t know, I really think I like him.
There’s plans for a second. Somewhere more comfortable.
Oh my god, Abey met us and totally sussed us out (you know, in between grips about YPDs).